Roses or the Debit-card: What do women want?

EVER wondered why almost every young man in town is inlove with Adekunle Gold’s new hit Orente? As confessedby a few, the ‘very comfortable’ personality of the figurative woman created in the song very much appealto them. Orente, as portrayed in the video, is a good woman, who is content with her man, even though he is very low on cash- or even flatbroke.The reality is that the definition of a ‘good woman’ appears to be changing very fast.Economic situationsTo most men these days, perhaps because of changingeconomic situations, a good woman is the Orente kind of woman who is totally satisfied with her man’s love for her and isn’t worried that he can’t satisfy her with some of the good things of life.Some ‘never-do-wells’ have taken this to the extreme, with their own definition of a good woman being that woman who is not only content but is also able to provide for their every financial need in addition to hers.The nature of women: Women may have increased wealth and equality, but some things may never change- one of such is the unquenchable desire to be loved, cared for and supported; both emotionally and materially- selfish, you may call it.But this is so true of womenfolk that even when some have convinced themselves they only needed a man who ‘truly loves’ them-even though he is broke, it didn’t take long before they wished for the unavailable.But what’s wrong with keeping a man who truly loves his woman but is very, very low on cash? Does that make him less of a man?“Roses (love, romance), no matter how beautiful they are,would not last long if there is no money to sustain it. A man who expects his woman to ask for things before he even gives them to her is not yet a man as far as I am concerned,” a married middle-aged woman, Mrs Rachel Afolayan- Adetunji, bluntly told Woman’s Own.She went on: “There has to be a balance between love and monetary care. If there ismoney and no joy, the woman will suffer it.A woman who has a caring husband may still manage even if the money is not forth coming. At the same time, it is also very important to note that you cannot do without money.”True to our earlier assertion that women, by nature, may never change even when their economic status do, Toni Phebe Taiwo, a young lady, told Woman’s Own that there’s more to the paparazziof roses.For her, a real man should show affection by also caringmaterially for his woman.“Unfortunately, what we see these days are guys who, instead of caring financially for their women even when they have the power, want to collect from her at every given opportunity. The ability of a man to protect and ‘take care’ of his wife or fiancée is very paramount,” she said.It’s quite amazing how humorously frank women could sound when certain issues are tabled. Just like our third respondent, a mother of three. Without mincing words, Mrs Julie Bankole asked: “Will you eat love? And for how long do you think the romance will last without the money? When your husband finishes wooing you with the roses, what will your children eat? The master card is more important even if you wish forthe roses.”Shirking their responsibilitiesJulie who admitted every woman likes to feel special, said men should stop shirking their responsibilities towards their women, adding that some women may pretend about their dissatisfaction just because they don’t want to be seen asbeing materialistic.“A man should be able meet his woman’s needs without her having to ask for everything she wants, even when she is married.Most Nigerian men however believe that just because their wives are working and can fend for themselves, thenthey have no obligation towards them financially.I wonder what the next generation of men would do ifthey keep believing women should not be materially cared for?” Julie cried out in disappointment.

source: newsroom

by Josephine Agbonkhese and Anino Aganbi

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